Before I get started let me state the we will not be giving the DVD Annie to anyone at the shower this Saturday. Martina and I finally watched Annie from beginning to end and we noticed some language (in Annie!!) that would make it inappropriate to give it out at a church gathering. We did like the songs though.
Maybe instead of that DVD we will give a sham-wow to whomever comes closest to guessing
Rachel's true age. As Vince from sham-wow says, "it's made in Germany. You know the Germans make good things..." At any rate, we now have a doctor's report on Rachel's true age and we will reveal it at the shower this Saturday. Maybe we can bring the drum from the sanctuary into the Fireside Room for a drum-roll when we announce it.
I entitled this entry as "Questions Answered" because obviously there have been many questions answered lately, but I wanted to address the questions many people have about Rachel and our decision to adopt, to adopt from India, and so on. Also, I hope to nudge some of you who have expressed an interest in also adopting a child from India.
First: why India? While I know that Indians aren't perfect, in my and Martina's personal experience with Indians, it seems as if this is the group that has the highest percentage of friendly people. That's it! Like I said, I know Indian's aren't perfect, but there you have it.
And here is a key concern, not only in adopting a child from India but adopting a child from anywhere, and I am totally serious here: no dirty diapers to change. Of course you can always adopt a newborn, where this won't apply, but one of the thrills I have had in the back of my mind is that I won't need to change any dirty diapers if we adopt Rachel, who looked at least 2 years old in our earliest picture of her. There might be some usual disgusting things that all parents must do in other areas, but dirty diapers will not be one of them.
(Speaking of bodily functions, I have a recent success story to report. As every adopting parent would admit if they were honest, the whole going-to-the-restroom-with-your-new-child-nearby is a certain fear. Well, as of yesterday coming home from work I proved I was up to the task. No details of course but you get the point.)
And the cost of adopting from India: pretty high. And I have no problem in giving specifics if someone were to ask me in person. We were told in one of the seminars we had to attend to try and not be offended by this question, but I see it as a perfectly reasonable question. And I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt if someone asks it the wrong way.
For example, "how much did you pay for your kid?" is a question I have asked to others, but only as a joke to someone who has their kid in their shopping cart as they leave Costco. The more appropriate way to ask would probably be something like "I am thinking of doing what you and Martina did in adopting a child from India. When I am done, about how much will I have paid?" The point is that Rachel or any adopted child is not a puppy and the cost question should keep that in mind, even if someone stumbles over their words in asking.
The good news on the cost is that whatever you spend winds up being a tax credit, meaning that once the adoption is final, you will get to count your expenses as part of your tax bill already paid! Check with your accountant to make sure -- meaning don't sue me if this doesn't apply to you. But I for one am not dreading April 15 as I used to.
And what about the whole "new parent" thing? What is it like? We're talking feelings here. The expression of feelings that make grown men who barely know each other hug one another. Well, as a new dad I can say it hasn't really sunk in yet. I have heard this is what it is like for some of the less feelings-endowed.
But Rachel is not really my first anyway. When I married Martina, she came complete with three wonderful kids who never needed to have a diaper changed as long as I have known them. As Martina said when we first met, "my kids are just great little people." And they were. I know they had a biological dad and I was the step-dad, but I feel as if I had some hand in raising them and I "feel family" with them. Great little people have now grown to be great adults.
One last question to answer: what about the whole "mixed race" thing. Martina and I are pretty traditional white, Christian, heteroexual, generally conservative people. And we adopted a child whose skin is darker than many African-Americans I know. How is that?
When we were going through the adoption process we were constantly asked how we were about this. We were going to have under our roof a child whom some would see as a different race. Honestly, it has never really registered with me as an issue at all. To this day it even bores me a little even to discuss it, but that is what a blog is for, right? Posting boring commentary? Yes, boring stuff, that racism issue. Really pretty boring... Ya know...
.lo;lkmnnbhjilj,jughbgyvgkujlijuhbvbvgukj
kuujknbbvfgcgfdfghnjhbvbfvfghhjjhujkuj
Sorry, I just fell asleep on my keyboard! Seriously! Sorry for the gibberish. I guess that makes my point. Rachel is our child and I don't care about her skin color or perceived race. (I just hope the drool on my keyboard doesn't cause any problems.)
So there you have it: questions answered. Or at least some questions. I would definitely recommend doing this to anyone. Ask if you have any questions.
More of our pictures are going to be like this. Whenever Martina or I pull out our camera, Rachel has to take some pictures.
Here Rachel and I are posing on one of our ATV's that is not moving at all. Because Rachel is not 16 or older, that would be illegal, don't ya know...
Regarding sham-wow:
http://www.sham-wow.com/?videoID=ai187&bufferTime=5
Maybe instead of that DVD we will give a sham-wow to whomever comes closest to guessing
Rachel's true age. As Vince from sham-wow says, "it's made in Germany. You know the Germans make good things..." At any rate, we now have a doctor's report on Rachel's true age and we will reveal it at the shower this Saturday. Maybe we can bring the drum from the sanctuary into the Fireside Room for a drum-roll when we announce it.I entitled this entry as "Questions Answered" because obviously there have been many questions answered lately, but I wanted to address the questions many people have about Rachel and our decision to adopt, to adopt from India, and so on. Also, I hope to nudge some of you who have expressed an interest in also adopting a child from India.
First: why India? While I know that Indians aren't perfect, in my and Martina's personal experience with Indians, it seems as if this is the group that has the highest percentage of friendly people. That's it! Like I said, I know Indian's aren't perfect, but there you have it.
And here is a key concern, not only in adopting a child from India but adopting a child from anywhere, and I am totally serious here: no dirty diapers to change. Of course you can always adopt a newborn, where this won't apply, but one of the thrills I have had in the back of my mind is that I won't need to change any dirty diapers if we adopt Rachel, who looked at least 2 years old in our earliest picture of her. There might be some usual disgusting things that all parents must do in other areas, but dirty diapers will not be one of them.
(Speaking of bodily functions, I have a recent success story to report. As every adopting parent would admit if they were honest, the whole going-to-the-restroom-with-your-new-child-nearby is a certain fear. Well, as of yesterday coming home from work I proved I was up to the task. No details of course but you get the point.)
And the cost of adopting from India: pretty high. And I have no problem in giving specifics if someone were to ask me in person. We were told in one of the seminars we had to attend to try and not be offended by this question, but I see it as a perfectly reasonable question. And I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt if someone asks it the wrong way.
For example, "how much did you pay for your kid?" is a question I have asked to others, but only as a joke to someone who has their kid in their shopping cart as they leave Costco. The more appropriate way to ask would probably be something like "I am thinking of doing what you and Martina did in adopting a child from India. When I am done, about how much will I have paid?" The point is that Rachel or any adopted child is not a puppy and the cost question should keep that in mind, even if someone stumbles over their words in asking.
The good news on the cost is that whatever you spend winds up being a tax credit, meaning that once the adoption is final, you will get to count your expenses as part of your tax bill already paid! Check with your accountant to make sure -- meaning don't sue me if this doesn't apply to you. But I for one am not dreading April 15 as I used to.
And what about the whole "new parent" thing? What is it like? We're talking feelings here. The expression of feelings that make grown men who barely know each other hug one another. Well, as a new dad I can say it hasn't really sunk in yet. I have heard this is what it is like for some of the less feelings-endowed.
But Rachel is not really my first anyway. When I married Martina, she came complete with three wonderful kids who never needed to have a diaper changed as long as I have known them. As Martina said when we first met, "my kids are just great little people." And they were. I know they had a biological dad and I was the step-dad, but I feel as if I had some hand in raising them and I "feel family" with them. Great little people have now grown to be great adults.
One last question to answer: what about the whole "mixed race" thing. Martina and I are pretty traditional white, Christian, heteroexual, generally conservative people. And we adopted a child whose skin is darker than many African-Americans I know. How is that?
When we were going through the adoption process we were constantly asked how we were about this. We were going to have under our roof a child whom some would see as a different race. Honestly, it has never really registered with me as an issue at all. To this day it even bores me a little even to discuss it, but that is what a blog is for, right? Posting boring commentary? Yes, boring stuff, that racism issue. Really pretty boring... Ya know...
.lo;lkmnnbhjilj,jughbgyvgkujlijuhbvbvgukj
kuujknbbvfgcgfdfghnjhbvbfvfghhjjhujkuj
Sorry, I just fell asleep on my keyboard! Seriously! Sorry for the gibberish. I guess that makes my point. Rachel is our child and I don't care about her skin color or perceived race. (I just hope the drool on my keyboard doesn't cause any problems.)
So there you have it: questions answered. Or at least some questions. I would definitely recommend doing this to anyone. Ask if you have any questions.
More of our pictures are going to be like this. Whenever Martina or I pull out our camera, Rachel has to take some pictures.
Here Rachel and I are posing on one of our ATV's that is not moving at all. Because Rachel is not 16 or older, that would be illegal, don't ya know...Regarding sham-wow:
http://www.sham-wow.com/?videoID=ai187&bufferTime=5
Posts
Sweetie, I love you so much. You are my gift from God. M
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou should have had a blog long ago, you can both make me laugh and cry all in the same blog. Nice shamwow reference by the way. You did raise us Tom, you are wonderful dad to all of us. I am one of the fortunate few to have had two wonderful daddies. (but not in a gay way;)
ReplyDelete