June Highlights

I know it has been a while since my last post but I wanted to build up the background to the day Rachel officially became our daughter, August 7, 2009. That was a great day!

But June was a great month too, starting with a BBQ at the only local convenience store, where they had an open mike and karioke set up. A couple of people brought their instruments to play along. There was a little hesitation on everyone's part, and then you-know-who stepped up to the mike. It was Rachel the crooner.

Rachel delighted the folks there with "Jesus Loves Me" and everyone sang along. Actually quite touching; everyone singing was probably a Kodak moment. Or a Memorex moment, it being audio and not a photo and all... Well, you get the idea.

June was also the month we had some concrete delivered in the construction of some water tank structures on our property. As this was our first time "calling out" for a concrete we overdid it. We had two slabs to lay, and when all was said and done they about 8 inches thick -- about twice the thickness we needed. But as I learned with setting concrete, you can never have too much, but you can have too little.


These are the before photos of the two slabs we laid that day. (I admit it: this is interesting only to me because I put together the rebar and forms that were used.)









On the actual day of the concrete delivery we had several kids to help with the work. In addition to Rachel we had kids belonging to Neil Adams, a friend of ours from church who helped us with the forms and rebar, and Harold Hayes, another friend of ours from church who worked for the concrete delivery company.

For me and Martina it was a big day because we were so used to our property being a baren, empty property mostly used for picnicking and dreaming of having a house there someday. Having some serious concrete slabs there changed things, at least a little.

At times the kids were a pretty good cheering section, or at least a good distraction. Here, Harold's son Josh is getting blamed for something.





Niel must have known I was taking this picture, because his pose looks pretty manly and action-oriented. You know, I also wore some galoshes, and they got just as messy as Niel's did. I am manly too...




Of course we put Rachel to work. I am sure she never experienced anything like this in India, but she was actually good at smoothing over the concrete after the truck dropped it off. We had her write her name and the date in one corner of the rectangular slab.



Here is typical photo of the day's action, and it is union labor at its best (without the pay, of course). I can count 1 person working about about 5 people watching.


I think the end results looked pretty good. Now we will put 2500-gallon water tanks on the slabs, and then build decorative little cottages around the tanks so that they look like they fit in in a Napa County hillside.

This is the finished rectangular slab, which will someday support a 10x12 shed with a 3-foot stoop. The shed will be covered with stonework and have a fake-copper roof on top.




Here is the finished circular slab, which will eventually support a cylindrical shed with a fake-copper roof. Both sheds will have a dark wood door and at least one window with its own awning. This should look nice but at our current pace they might be finished in about 2019.







This is what I am talking about. The left here is a window at the local restaurant Travigne, and on the right here is a facade for a water tank at some vineyard off of Silverado Trail.




At the end of June Rachel and her mommy and daddy met up with Aunt Tamara and cousin Alex, who had come to Los Angeles for business. We all went to Universal Studios and had a blast!



Here is a picture of Rachel and me anxiously awaiting a visit from Frankenstein. Her expression pretty much says "is that who I think it is coming right towards me?"


It was Frankenstein. Or at least a guy in a Frankenstein outfit. Rachel was actually pretty nervous about this guy. He was a good sport about it all and went easy with Rachel. In return I spared him my Young Frankenstein jokes. Actually that is not entirely true: I asked him to sing for us just one verse of "Putting On The Ritz." I couldn't resist. (Hey, give me a little slack -- I was the tacky American tourist who went to that travel bookstore depicted in Notting Hill and asked if they had the latest John Grisham book.)

This is a picture of Rachel meeting Bart and Bart's sister (I can never remember her name(D'oh!)). Bart gives a "thumbs up."

Curious George was eager to meet Rachel. Had I watched any episodes at all of Curious George, or even the movie, I might have had something semi-witty to say to him. Heck, even if I had seen the trailer of the Curious George movie... But it was a moment in joke history that is now gone forever...


Rachel just had to meet and take a picture with Dora. We told Dora that Rachel never misses a Dora episode on TV, and that Rachel has 2 Dora dolls, one of which sings "buenos noches." This is the same Dora doll that kept waking me up in the middle of the night in India when Rachel would press her belly throughout the night. I asked Dora if she could "keep it down a little" next time she is in India with a family who is experiencing jet-lag. Dora didn't have much to say in response.

Towards the end of a long day of taking rides, walking, visiting cartoon characters, and being frieghtened by the Jaws and Psycho sets, Rachel gets a well-deserved foot massage.

All in all, it was a great visit with Tamara and Alex, and a great ending to the eventful month of June. Next posting I will bring everyone up to date on what happened in July.
--Tom

Camping!

Rachel and Olivia were very brave on the water slide at the KOA




Rachel has discovered a new love. Swimming! We went Kamping at the KOA (Kampgrounds of America). She also sang Jesus Loves Me in front of the campers on Karaoke night.

-m

GeeGee and Papa Jim visit Rachel

I'm having trouble adding our pics and videos. But here is a preview! BTW, Rachel says "I love GeeGee" every few minutes since GeeGee left. It was love at first sight.

-m

In the past few weeks we have camped with the Webers and gone to a castle with Gee Gee and Papa. Aunt Kitty and precious Lonnie (http://raisinganautisticchild.blogspot.com/) are arriving in 2 days. -m

Rachel Is Funny!

Sorry it has been a while since I have posted. Since my last post we have discovered that Rachel has a sense of humor! Take for example this photo of the Easter Bunny at Walmart. On Easter Day we went to Walmart and in the middle of a big crowd we noticed someone in an Easter Bunny costume posing for pictures. Before we could slow her down, Rachel worked her way through the crowd and posed for a picture next to the Easter Bunny. And it was a good picture!

Like I said before, Rachel loves the Three Stooges. So of course I had to teach her the eye-poke defense that Andrew has used so well against me. Here are a few shots...

Quick reaction!






Yesterday we went to the Napa Home and Garden Show, and the Pink Panther was posing for pictures, so Rachel jumped right in. Here is the picture:

But Rachel isn't all just laughs. She has a very good, serious side to her. We bring her to church and Bible Study, and she has not been shy about her singing abilities. As you can see at an earlier post, she is quite a good singer with "Jesus Loves Me", and last Sunday she sang this for the Nursing Home Ministry, which is headed by our good friend Chaplain Marlowe Link.

She is also very friendly to the people at the nursing home, even though I doubt she ever saw many elderly people in wheelchairs when she was back in India.

Quite a good girl!

--Tom

Settling in to family life

Rachel is totally a member of this family. I love her so much.

She has her morning routines (tomatos for breakfast, with milk and cereal-uck), feeding the chickens with mommy, having "school" which is currently learning numbers, counting, and writing her letters (the "big" and the "baby" letters,) tending bees with mommy and maddy (totally protected in her bee suit, of course), going to court with daddy, and her favorite things ...seeing the "cousins" (who, are actually her nieces and nephews.)

She sobs whenever she has to say goodbye to a family member (even me! when daddy takes her in his car and daddy when I take her in my car.) Rachel's perfect world is to have everyone she loves gathered together. Hmmm. That's my perfect world too!

The pictures are of her playhouse now that its painted and some other pics taken recently.
Enjoy!

Rachel gets a playhouse

On Saturday we paint it green with purple window boxes and a purple door. Then we'll begin the process of fencing and adding gardens. Thank you, Daddy for moving a 600 gallon (!) water tank to the back of the playhouse area.

Rachel Sings Jesus Loves Me

It's Just A Little Vomit

I have always prided myself on a near-spotless car. Then Rachel came into our lives and we suited up my car with a child seat, and eventually found out that Rachel gets sick on the windy road to and from our house. If a total stranger threw up in my car I would be pretty annoyed. But when Rachel threw up I was more concerned with her, was she uncomfortable, did she need some drinking water, that kind of thing. She mostly missed throwing up in my car, but for what didn't get projected out of the car, I consoled myself, "It's just a little vomit." These are words I never thought I would say to myself about my car. I guess that is what it is like being the dad of a child you totally adore.

Meanwhile we are learning a little more about Rachel everyday -- what makes her tick, what makes her happy, sad and so on. The other day I slipped into the TV a DVD from my Three Stooges collection and Rachel was laughing hysterically. I guess slapstick is a kind of universal language. Even with her limited English, Rachel was laughing so hard at times I am considering mailing some Three Stooges DVDs to her orphanage back in India. Those Indian orphans won't need any English sub-titles.

And what is it about those Three Stooges? Just what makes them so funny? When I was in grade school I rolled my eyes when they were on TV. It could have been that Gilligan's Island was in the same time slot after school and that is what I preferred. And I couldn't have been the only third-grade boy who thought Marianne was way under-rated. Or maybe it was that for several years in elementary school, it was always the dumbest kid in the class who had several impersonations of Curly -- the whoop whoop whoop! bit and others. And bad impersonations at that. After grades 1 through about 5, inclusive, that got pretty old.

But it wasn't the fault of the Three Stooges. Now that I have taken a closer look that their movies I find them very funny. Someday I will introduce Rachel to my Bob Hope collection. When she is ready, I guess.

Well that is my post for now. I promise I will report back after we have given out the award for the person who guessed Rachel's true age. I have the prize in my car trunk, waiting for the event. And unlike some other contents of my car, the prize has not been vomited on.

What is the prize? Well, I'll give you several hints: it soaks up 12 times it weight in liquid, and soaks up cola that is spilled on a square of carpet. And it's made in Germany. You know that the Germans make good stuff...

--Tom

Rachel and Holly

One of the most special people in Rachel's life (and mine) is Holly Morris. When we got home from India Holly had cleaned the house, decorated, put flowers and balloons everywhere, and homemade chocolate chip cookies were waiting on the counter in the kitchen. When Rachel met Holly the day after we got home, Rachel ran straight into Holly's arms before she could even get out of the car. Holly happens to be in a wheelchair; Rachel is totally oblivious to this. She only has eyes for "Haree" and not her conveyance.

Yesterday, we (Tom, me, Holly, and Rach) went to the property (Rachel's hands down second favorite place; her favorite place is Mary's house.) Tom went off to spread more straw on the trails while Holly, Rach, and I suited up for some beekeeping. A tiring, loving, beefilled day. Perfect. Then home to have movie night with popcorn and chocolate. Rachel feel asleep against Holly and was then carried to bed by Daddy.

--Martina

Rachel's party and other things!

Rachel's party at church was just wonderful. I know I speak for Tommy also when I say that I've never felt so loved and cared for than from our brothers and sisters at our church. (www.gracenapa.org) Thanks to all who participated.

Rachel's pediatrician called with the age given by the radiologist as a result of the bone age x-ray. He placed her between 3 and 3 1/2. Dr. Wong said that based on her own examination she believes that 3 1/2 is correct. We were quite surprised. I even tried to argue with her a bit that Rachel must be closer to 4 1/2 because she is so bright. But Dr. Wong became quite serious and said that she trusts her exam and the science behind the x-ray. Rachel is a healthy, well-nourished child that is 3 1/2. So, praise God! She is 3 1/2. This means that the photo we have of her taken November 4, 2006 shows a one and a half year old or so. Funny thing is that when we were given this photo, the agency said, "we know she looks to be about 2 in this picture, but we don't know when it was taken. " My own detective work through her files gave me the date of the photo.

Most folks who've spent a lot of time with her agree with Dr. Wong's assessment. Our family child psychologist also concurs. Why fight a good thing? We'll go with Dr. Wong's letter and have her birth certificate reflect this. It gives us more time at home without having to do the official homeschooing thing. So. Yay!

--Marty

Questions Answered

Before I get started let me state the we will not be giving the DVD Annie to anyone at the shower this Saturday. Martina and I finally watched Annie from beginning to end and we noticed some language (in Annie!!) that would make it inappropriate to give it out at a church gathering. We did like the songs though.

Maybe instead of that DVD we will give a sham-wow to whomever comes closest to guessing Rachel's true age. As Vince from sham-wow says, "it's made in Germany. You know the Germans make good things..." At any rate, we now have a doctor's report on Rachel's true age and we will reveal it at the shower this Saturday. Maybe we can bring the drum from the sanctuary into the Fireside Room for a drum-roll when we announce it.

I entitled this entry as "Questions Answered" because obviously there have been many questions answered lately, but I wanted to address the questions many people have about Rachel and our decision to adopt, to adopt from India, and so on. Also, I hope to nudge some of you who have expressed an interest in also adopting a child from India.

First: why India? While I know that Indians aren't perfect, in my and Martina's personal experience with Indians, it seems as if this is the group that has the highest percentage of friendly people. That's it! Like I said, I know Indian's aren't perfect, but there you have it.

And here is a key concern, not only in adopting a child from India but adopting a child from anywhere, and I am totally serious here: no dirty diapers to change. Of course you can always adopt a newborn, where this won't apply, but one of the thrills I have had in the back of my mind is that I won't need to change any dirty diapers if we adopt Rachel, who looked at least 2 years old in our earliest picture of her. There might be some usual disgusting things that all parents must do in other areas, but dirty diapers will not be one of them.

(Speaking of bodily functions, I have a recent success story to report. As every adopting parent would admit if they were honest, the whole going-to-the-restroom-with-your-new-child-nearby is a certain fear. Well, as of yesterday coming home from work I proved I was up to the task. No details of course but you get the point.)

And the cost of adopting from India: pretty high. And I have no problem in giving specifics if someone were to ask me in person. We were told in one of the seminars we had to attend to try and not be offended by this question, but I see it as a perfectly reasonable question. And I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt if someone asks it the wrong way.

For example, "how much did you pay for your kid?" is a question I have asked to others, but only as a joke to someone who has their kid in their shopping cart as they leave Costco. The more appropriate way to ask would probably be something like "I am thinking of doing what you and Martina did in adopting a child from India. When I am done, about how much will I have paid?" The point is that Rachel or any adopted child is not a puppy and the cost question should keep that in mind, even if someone stumbles over their words in asking.

The good news on the cost is that whatever you spend winds up being a tax credit, meaning that once the adoption is final, you will get to count your expenses as part of your tax bill already paid! Check with your accountant to make sure -- meaning don't sue me if this doesn't apply to you. But I for one am not dreading April 15 as I used to.

And what about the whole "new parent" thing? What is it like? We're talking feelings here. The expression of feelings that make grown men who barely know each other hug one another. Well, as a new dad I can say it hasn't really sunk in yet. I have heard this is what it is like for some of the less feelings-endowed.

But Rachel is not really my first anyway. When I married Martina, she came complete with three wonderful kids who never needed to have a diaper changed as long as I have known them. As Martina said when we first met, "my kids are just great little people." And they were. I know they had a biological dad and I was the step-dad, but I feel as if I had some hand in raising them and I "feel family" with them. Great little people have now grown to be great adults.

One last question to answer: what about the whole "mixed race" thing. Martina and I are pretty traditional white, Christian, heteroexual, generally conservative people. And we adopted a child whose skin is darker than many African-Americans I know. How is that?

When we were going through the adoption process we were constantly asked how we were about this. We were going to have under our roof a child whom some would see as a different race. Honestly, it has never really registered with me as an issue at all. To this day it even bores me a little even to discuss it, but that is what a blog is for, right? Posting boring commentary? Yes, boring stuff, that racism issue. Really pretty boring... Ya know...

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Sorry, I just fell asleep on my keyboard! Seriously! Sorry for the gibberish. I guess that makes my point. Rachel is our child and I don't care about her skin color or perceived race. (I just hope the drool on my keyboard doesn't cause any problems.)

So there you have it: questions answered. Or at least some questions. I would definitely recommend doing this to anyone. Ask if you have any questions.


More of our pictures are going to be like this. Whenever Martina or I pull out our camera, Rachel has to take some pictures.






Here Rachel and I are posing on one of our ATV's that is not moving at all. Because Rachel is not 16 or older, that would be illegal, don't ya know...



Regarding sham-wow:
http://www.sham-wow.com/?videoID=ai187&bufferTime=5

To the Doctor!

Today we went to see Dr. Wong, Rachel's new pediatrician. She was wonderful! After an exam and some observations of Rachel's chattyness and drawing, Dr. Wong gave the opinion that Rachel is ....between 4 and 5 years old. But she ordered a bone age x-ray that should give us more specific information. I'm guessing closer to five than 4, but we'll see what the radiologist says. We may know by Friday. Here's hoping!

Because Rachel's records are so scatty, Dr. Wong ordered her to start over with new shots. She had FIVE!!!! today. Poor thing. She was not brave. Neither were Mary or Nathan. So, no shame in crying. Nathan kicked and screamed so bad once that the needle broke off in his little leg and Mary kicked the Dr. so hard in the ...a...groin....area that he stormed off and said, "forget it."

Annie on the other hand was totally brave. (BTW, Olivia is just like Aunt Annie. When I was with Ollie for her last set of shots and asked her if she was scared, she looked at me with contempt and said a simple "no." I was embarrassed for suggesting it.)

Next post should include Rachel's age!

--M

Height/Weight growth charts

I entered Rachel's height (40 inches) and weight (32.5lbs) on an American children's online chart http://pediatrics.about.com/library/growth_charts/ngirlstwo.htm and it showed her to be about 4 years old. I then entered her centimeters (101.6 cm) and kilograms (15kg) into an India Children's growth chart http://www.indiachildren.com/htwtc.htm and she came out at ....4 years old.

I asked the Kaiser pediatrician to order a bone age x-ray for next week so that we have it for her pediatric appointment on March 3rd. Hopefully, that will be approved and we can get some accurate information to go with our adoption forms going to the judge.
-Marty

Becoming part of the family

Annie and her new baby sister















Most of these pictures were taken by Rachel herself!

Taco with Daddy at Jack in the Box.

Baby James

Sister Mary Grace and baby Matthew. (No, she's not a nun, I just love the names Mary and Grace!)

We've had a wonderful past few days.

As you know, Rachel has been to court with Daddy. This actually a family tradition. Over the years all of the kids and a few of the grandkids have spent time in court with either me or Tom. I remember the judge calling me to the bench once to point out that Nathan, who I had stashed in the safety of the jury box, was beginning to snore. This will live in infamy. Rachel, for her part, just smiled a lot and said her trademark "hellloooo"!

Annie and James and Mary and Joe and the brood all came to visit. I think Rachel and Olivia are now best friends. They seem to be about the same age (five.) Both parted with many tears. I was sad for Rachel, but also delighted that she loves Olivia and that she is so close to her emotions. She does not seem to be an "institutionalized" child. I praise our Lord for placing her in such an excellent orphanage where she clearly was loved and well-taken care of.

Tom and I have been praying for this little child for the past year that she would be happy, safe, and loved while we waited out the bureaucrats who finally granted her release to us. Mommy and Daddy. Now, she is home for good. It feels like she has always been here.

Praise you, Lord Jesus!

--Marty